Just Diagnosed

I was just diagnosed today with Bipolar Disorder....! am pretty angry about that. I think a lot of it is I feel cheated. I grew up in a not so nice environment and I feel like I already have been through enough. I also feel a lot of guilt. For a long time I have been running around like a crazy person, getting into fights with family, friends and strangers. I feel ashamed for what I have put everyone through, especially my husband. At the same I wonder will he still want to be married to me knowing I have this. I feel like all this could have been avoided had I sought help sooner. I am also afraid. Afraid of what my future will hold now. My husband told me it’s not the end of the world but then again this is not happening to him. I wonder how long it will take for me to feel ok. I guess there is no answer to that as I know everyone responds to meds in different ways. I also feel trapped most days. Like there is no hope and this is the way the rest of my life will be. And really I am just so tired of feeling this way. I don't really know what else to say.