Pit of Despair

For years I felt that nothing was worth living for. I would sit alone and think of dying. I went over how I would kill myself. I thought about cutting my wrist, hanging myself, drinking poison, taking medicines. But still I went on living.

Depression for me was like falling into a bottomless pit with smooth sides that had no place to get a hold of. Every day I would slip further down into that pit.

This went on from my teenage years until I was in my late thirties when I decided to move and go to college. I thought that if I could just get away that things would be better.

I started school and a job. I was very busy but I could not concentrate enough to study. As a result my grades went way down and I was put on academic probation.

The only thing I could think of was that I was a failure again. I was under a lot of stress at work also. I just couldn't take it.

I waited for my roommate to leave for work and then drove to a secluded spot. I took two bottles of medications.

As I sat there I had one lucid moment and realized what I had done. I just had time to get to the hospital and say I had taken the pills before I passed out.

I spent a lot of time in and out of the mental hospital for four years. With changes in my medications and lots of therapy things began to get better.

I went back to school and graduated from a masters program in Rehabilitation Counseling and received my certification. Now I am looking forward to working with others with disabilities.